Friday, February 24, 2012

True Beauty = Happiness

Yesterday was a crazy day. There are days when I just don't understand myself at all. I woke up in a total funk, the last thing I wanted to do was go to school. I ended up going anyway because I don't have time to miss class. I went to class and then I came home. I only have one actual class on Tues/Thurs. I have an institute class too, but it is several hours later. I came  home and talked to my roommate and then I started bawling. Don't ask me why? It just happened that way. I looked at the clock and realized I only had about four minutes to get to the institute. So I busted to my room, got my bag and hurried up the hill praying that my mascara was not all over my face because I didn't even have time to look in the mirror.

One thing about institute, you are really only late if you come in after the song and guess who beat the song? Yep, that's right I did. Not sure how, but I made it. The lesson was so amazing. It always amazes me the love that I feel from my Heavenly  Father. After that I went to work. This is the point where the story actually makes sense. I had an ah-ha moment yesterday. I was sitting at work and I had decided just to write. My posts are always super long, so you probably realize that I figure my life out when I write and when I run. Anyway while I was writing, I realized how completely unhappy I am and how I was looking to other people to make my happiness. Then I realized how absolutely ridiculous that is. I am the only one that controls my attitude and my happiness. If I am not happy, then it is my own darn fault.

At the beginning of this year, I wrote that I want to smile more. I've changed my mind. I want to be happy. You can smile and still be completely unhappy, but true happiness is extremely visible. More than anything I've discovered that happiness is a choice. I'm not perfect and I'm not ever going to be, but I truly want to be happy. There will be bad days and good days; really bad days and really good days, that is okay.  It is all up to me. I am the only one that says if I am happy or not. Starting right now, I will be happy. I will smile with a smile that reaches my eyes. I will laugh with deep ab-working laughs and I will not let those around influence whether or not I enjoy life.  Live it up! Today is my day!
Found it here

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