1. characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest: a restless mood.
2. unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
3. never at rest; perpetually agitated or in motion: the restless sea.
4.without rest; without restful sleep: a restless night.
5.unceasingly active; averse to quiet or inaction, as persons: a restless crowd.
It wasn't until I went home this weekend that I realized how restless I had become. I didn't have time to go home. I worked all week and had a presentation on Saturday, but after my presentation, I just wanted to go home. So I made a 3.5 hour drive for a 27 hour vacation. And it was glorious!
I love Logan. It is beautiful, but it is not home. Sometimes it takes a long time before I feel that pull, other times it doesn't take very long and sometimes I don't even realize that I am restless to see my home town before I pull into my yard and exhale a large sigh. This weekend was amazing. I got home and started talking to my dad. He asked if I wanted to go check the cows on the Churchill pasture. Yep, sure did. We drove out to Deseret so that we could pick up Spanky. (Yay, Spanky!) It made me so happy to go up to him and have him stick his head right into the bridle.
We drove over and checked the cows. I can't describe the feeling of sitting in the saddle. It feels like it has been years when it was probably only a month ago. As I settled into the saddle, I started smiling again. The restlessness faded and suddenly my world was right again. We spent a little over an hour checking the cows. Then dad asked if we could ride to the end of the pasture and see what was going on down there. Dad kicked Jake up to a lope and Spanky and I were right there beside him. Without even trying, he lengthened his stride and passed Jake. It was in the middle of our run that I looked up to the blue sky and realized how blessed I actually am. My world was back in order, I had the opportunity to ride a horse that I had worked with for seven years and even though there is a lot of stress and sometimes confusion in my life, I know that everything will work out. It was just a reminder to me that our Heavenly Father knows each of us and he loves us so much. My escape for that day was to lope across a pasture on a horse and look up at a blue sky. Small things that helped me realize the blessings I have in my life. And, I'm not restless anymore.