Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Fall

I love this time of year. There is so much that I love about it! Deer hunt is always a favorite and seeing the leaves change and feeling the crispness in the air. I love it!
via
However, I didn't have a whole lot of time that I could devote to the deer hunt. My life is crazy busy with school and work and only one day of fall break, but I went to the mountains with my family. The night before opening day, we set up camp, talked, watched the stars, made a few s'mores, listened to the guitar, climbed to the top and looked down off the cliff, rode a horse and truly just enjoyed.  I love going to the mountains. You feel so removed from everything that is weighing you down and you are able to just be. There is something about watching a fire. It is really hard to explain, but it is so cool.

Opening day was really fun especially since I didn't have a tag. I was able to stay in my warm bed until breakfast. I got dressed, didn't worry about saddling up and sitting on a nice chilly saddle and spent some time with my mom, Aunts, and cousins. It was a lot of fun.  I love being out in the mountains, I love spending time with the family and I love the deer hunt even when we don't bring anything home from the mountains.  Celebrating life and this time of year!?! Definitely!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


What a Weekend!

So I went home this weekend, knowing that it would be absolutely insane at the the Tolbert house, but looking forward to it at the same time. This prior weekend was general conference. It comes around twice a year and I love it. But, I didn't get to watch as much of it as I wanted due to the 200 head of cattle that needed to be branded and processed.

Saturday was absolutely crazy. We worked cattle all day long. Shots, brands, and castration. It was so much work. I still have a few sore muscles, but it was so much fun! We laughed, we joked, we teased each other, and we got the work done. The crew consisted of my mom and dad, my sister- Meagan, Grandpa, Uncle Kevin, Jayden and Dustin Hamilton.  It was hilarious. My Grandpa is a diabetic so I went back to check on him and asked if he needed a candy bar or something. He told me he was good, but that his "Love Bank" was running a little low. I started laughing and asked if he needed a hug? He was like, 'Yes." I was laughing so hard by this point and ended up giving him a hug through a gate. Super funny! It was a crazy busy day, but we got a lot done and had a lot of fun.  Dustin happens to be one of our really good friends and he came down to help us. Boy, did he have us busting up. My Uncle Kevin showed up and Mom was like "Let's introduce Dustin as your Husband (to Uncle Kevin)." I was like, "No." But then my mom told Dustin and suddenly there was "Hey Honey, you're in the way." "Sweetheart-not like that, like this." "Darling, I got blood all over me, but give me a kiss anyway." I was literally dying! I was laughing so hard. We were thoroughly entertained to say the least. And don't worry, I was sending plenty of "Sweethearts, Darlings, and Sugarmuffins" back his direction.

We finally got the cows worked and Dad left for Priesthood session. Mom and I sat down and watched the Saturday morning session of general conference. It was so amazing. President Monson introduced new ages for missionaries. Women are able to leave when they are 19 and Young Men can go when they are 18. It was so exciting!

Conference on Sunday was amazing as well. I think conference is always a reminder to me that Heavenly Father knows me and knows what is going on in my life. I felt Heavenly Father's love for me and felt as if many talks were directed right at me. I know that I am doing what I am supposed to be and that I am going in the right direction.  The message that I got from conference was that you have unlimited potential. Are you tapping into that and becoming the person that you could be? It really made me wonder if I was becoming like I should be?  I think I am heading in the right direction. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. Always.
There were several talks that I loved including David A. Bednar and Ann M. Dibb's. Both were amazing and really touched me.

To top off this crazy busy weekend, I got a flat tire on my way back to Logan. I left Sunday after 5 and headed north. I got about an hour into the journey when my tire went horribly and completely flat. So I have a couple of options, drive back to Delta on my donut or continue to Logan (another 3 hours) on the donut. Not even really an option. Thank goodness for the kind man that helped me change my tire. I almost had it changed except I couldn't get the last lug nut undone. Sometimes girl muscles just can't get the job done. The tire got changed and I put put back to Delta. Ended up staying one more night in Delta, got a new tire yesterday and drove back to Logan. Life is crazy, but good.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Stunning

Yesterday was a unique day for me. I looked in the mirror and I was stunning. You have to realize that this isn't easy for me to say.  I feel like I am attractive, but never stunning. For years, I have struggled with who I am. My identity has always been in crisis mode since I became  a teenager. Even as a teenager, I was short and curvaceous.  I have had guys drive by my house several times,or drive up and down the road yelling at me that "I'm HOT!", or ask me to be their girlfriend (no joke) after just meeting me, or tell me that I am gorgeous and I never believed them. Most of the time, I couldn't understand what they were talking about. It always confused me more than anything else because I didn't and still don't see myself that way. I feel like I am completely normal. I love watching chick flicks and hanging out with my friends. I'm not different than anyone else-right? But, yesterday I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see anything wrong with me. I was, in fact, stunning. I didn't write this post to brag- I wrote this post to realize. Beauty comes from within. I've always wanted to be skinnier, but that is not my body type. My body type loves to hold onto every fat cell that it can. And I'm okay with that. I will never be ultra thin, I will always have big hips and boobs, but my goal is to be healthy. I will probably always have a little extra weight, but if I can still ride a horse, go for a run and do aerobics, I will be alright. So yesterday was liberating because for the first time in many years, I was happy with who I am and wasn't worried about fixing it all. Today may give me an entirely different perspective, but yesterday I was Stunning.