Thursday, October 4, 2012
Yesterday was a unique day for me. I looked in the mirror and I was stunning. You have to realize that this isn't easy for me to say. I feel like I am attractive, but never stunning. For years, I have struggled with who I am. My identity has always been in crisis mode since I became a teenager. Even as a teenager, I was short and curvaceous. I have had guys drive by my house several times,or drive up and down the road yelling at me that "I'm HOT!", or ask me to be their girlfriend (no joke) after just meeting me, or tell me that I am gorgeous and I never believed them. Most of the time, I couldn't understand what they were talking about. It always confused me more than anything else because I didn't and still don't see myself that way. I feel like I am completely normal. I love watching chick flicks and hanging out with my friends. I'm not different than anyone else-right? But, yesterday I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see anything wrong with me. I was, in fact, stunning. I didn't write this post to brag- I wrote this post to realize. Beauty comes from within. I've always wanted to be skinnier, but that is not my body type. My body type loves to hold onto every fat cell that it can. And I'm okay with that. I will never be ultra thin, I will always have big hips and boobs, but my goal is to be healthy. I will probably always have a little extra weight, but if I can still ride a horse, go for a run and do aerobics, I will be alright. So yesterday was liberating because for the first time in many years, I was happy with who I am and wasn't worried about fixing it all. Today may give me an entirely different perspective, but yesterday I was Stunning.