Friday, January 18, 2013

Dreaming

I had a dream last night. A futuristic dream of being married, of having a family. It was extraordinary in the ordinary. I woke up wishing I could go back to that dream, that feeling. I look around at my life and it is so good. School can be difficult and challenging, but I can honestly say that I'm not stagnating. I'm growing and changing and becoming the type of person that I want to be. I learn something new about myself every day.

For example, today was so frustrating right off the bat. I wanted to be back in dream land, but couldn't because of school. I rushed to campus to turn in an assignment. My assignment is awful. Last night when I was putting it together, I screwed up. It is a little booklet and I hole-punched the binding in the wrong spot and then I rotated the pages half-way through so you have to flip it over to even understand it. It is one of the worst things I have ever done, but I had it prepared so that I could turn it in. I get to class and find out that the teacher has moved the due date to next Wednesday. I'm so mad and grateful and just confused. I guess she got too many emails saying that we didn't have enough time to do the project, which we really didn't, but guess what I got it done anyway.

So here I am, I have so many emotions rolling through my head. I'm mad. The poor pansy's didn't have time, boo hoo. I'm grateful. I know I did a horrible job and this gives me 5 days to fix it and do it to my usual standard. And I'm so confused. Do I really want to put another 6 or 7 hours into a project that means nothing to me? You think I am joking, but I have already put 6 hours into this project and to fix it will take even longer. I don't want to fix it, I just want to forget about it and not do it, but then this teacher had us look at other students work.

Mine is definitely lacking especially compared to other students. So what will I do- more than likely I will fix what needs to be fixed and start over. Lucky me. Here's to learning about myself and dreaming of a world that is very far in the future.

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